Maybe you listened to Tony Kornheiser's ESPN 980 radio show Wednesday morning, hoping that Tony would respond to Mike Wise's comments on Tuesday about Kornheiser's comments on Monday. Well, if that's why you were listening, Tony was willing to briefly play along.
"We are THRILLED at the ratings lately, where we are SOARING and ZOOMING past all competition from 10-12," he began. "We're ABSOLUTELY thrilled at that. I want to begin on just a slightly personal note, and I guess a lot of people are waiting for me to do this. I want to talk about a columnist at The Washington Post, someone that I knew a little bit for a long time but I wouldn't say that I was friendly with on any level, and I want to discuss something that he had written in today's paper. So if you're tape recording this, get ready. Courtland Milloy wrote a GREAT column today...."
But you know, that was probably the right response. For whatever reason, there was a lot of interest in this bald sports columnist and radio show host vs. bald sports columnist and radio show host topic. I got several e-mails from important media persons about TK vs. Wise. Wise's station, 106.7 The Fan, was taking calls on the matter Tuesday afternoon, during someone else's program.
Even I had a great traffic day on Tuesday, thanks to these guys. Radio feuds are good for everyone, apparently. But we're smart people, and we all basically realize that this is beneath us, and that you, the reader/listener, have better things to worry about.
So even though Wise did indeed do a couple segments on Kornheiser during Wednesday's show, and even though Dave McKenna was prompted to re-tell the story about when Kornheiser got him fired from The Post, maybe it's best if we all just move on, and forget about this little episode. Especially from Kornheiser's point of view, since he's got a bigger name than Wise, and just doesn't need to bring himself down to that level.
("It was just sort of like being picked on, and picked on," Wise said on Wednesday, "and at some point, you deal with it and you move on....And I really want this thing to be done. I just want it to be over. I want to move on. It's over....I just think that people that have listened to this show deserve more than a radio feud. They deserve more thoughtful and what I would call positive behavior.")
And so, The End.
Oh wait. You know what? I almost forgot something. For any musical lovers out there, let me also transcribe this brief passage when Tony talked music Wednesday morning. Just because I thought his comments were really touching and sweet and insightful.
"This is Old Guy Radio for the day," he said. "This is Bob Dylan, and the song called Ballad of a Thin Man. Goes on and on and on and on. And we'll let it go on and on and on. Most of you have heard this song at some point or other. Good tune.
"This is a story of a journalist who thinks himself very very hip, hangs around all the major figures of his day, dresses the part, acts the part, talks the talk. Can't really walk the walk, 'cause he's a fool. And Bob Dylan, from the movie Don't Look Back, explains how foolish people like this are, when they presume that proximity to greatness rubs off on them. And all they are is the objects of scorn and derision. And the Mr. Joneses of the world just don't get it. Never gonna get it. Doesn't matter how many jobs you have, how many titles you have, what your awards are. The people who really have greatness laugh at you."
Like I said, it was touching.
"Never thought of it that way, interesting," one of the guests said.
"Well, that's what it's about," Kornheiser concluded.
(As for David Aldridge, who was on Tony's show during the initial blast, "David Aldridge isn't worth it, I'm sorry," Wise said on air Wednesday. "I'm not gonna go after anybody's sidekick. He's had a respectable career, and he's done wonderful things. I will say this to him, if he's listening: Don't cackle in the background again. It's not polite. I wouldn't do that to you. And I've had your back on a number of occasions, in different scenarios, some of which you don't even know. So it's not funny.")